It's not ok.

Unintentionally, I threw my iPhone in a parking garage trashcan. After digging it out, I rushed into work for a webinar, but couldn't find my desk. I was confused, maybe even frantic. Turns out, l was on the wrong floor of the building.

Nine family members showed up at a restaurant to celebrate Leslie's birthday. We didn't have a reservation because I forgot to make one, and we ended up going someplace else. Later on in the evening, I yelled at my brother to "shut up." I'm not even sure why.

Some guy at Giant Eagle told me Elliot was cute and asked how old he was. "Almost 16 months," I answered. He told me he has an eleven year son, and misses him being that little. We wished each other a nice day, and I headed to my car.  A few minutes later, I wondered if that's the kind of guy who would grab my pussy.

I don't understand my country. How have I lived among these people and not known?

Was not knowing the ultimate white privilege... until now?

I am scared and unsettled, and I don't think it's going to be ok.